shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
