you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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