We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The power of my boobs compel you
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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