Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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