you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
im holly from the hills drunk
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
