My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize