Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
