she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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