Buhtt sex?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize