just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
two words: eviction party
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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