i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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