You're like the curious george of whores
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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