Just mADE A PArabola og urine
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
