I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize