I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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