Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
