Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
now i know why i became what i already was.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
