I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
