i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I will pee on everything he values.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
