Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
