And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
