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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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