what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
