It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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