at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
