I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
