This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
