She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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