Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You can't motorboat a personality
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
