He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
