It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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