The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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