Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
