I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Randomize
