So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
