is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
i think my cat just said my name.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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