If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I will pee on everything he values.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize