Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
