we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
