Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
