i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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