I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
