you will always have a special place in my vag
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
