He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
