"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
