the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize