I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
