party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
