R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
