to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Come on in and take your pants off
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