would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
