i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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