she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
