Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
