Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
