he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
