I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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