he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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