; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
