there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
we're so committed to being not committed
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
