Will you blow on my dice?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize