I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
