its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
