if only i could text you this smell
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize