are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
