you guys were way drunker than both of me
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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