and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
