I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize