btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
